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| Signs: Monday to Monday |
| Tuesday, January 15, 2008 |
-Run--> Notepad
 Day1 :9 p. m A few days back, correction, a few nights ago , I was traveling back to my place after usual office hours. 9 pm err.. yes.. No mistakes here. My earphone was at its place to avoid the songs that usually play in my cab- never liked them. Being a thorough gentleman, i prefer keeping my earpiece in rather than asking to change the band.
I got into a slumber pretty soon- I am ok.It goes like this I plugin my earpiece, drop my head on the head rest and gone.I woke up when a noble co passenger poked his finger on to my crushed shirt "Hey where do you wanna get dropped"?
Drop me like Sourav Ganguly.. oh , I said to myself ! Looking out of window.. "yes just here, Thanks."
Day2 :10.00 p. m
I shot the last email, describing the best i do- Raising a few more endearing questions and issues, piling upon the reasons because of which I am "4 man days" behind the "Planned" schedule.
-Alt-tab Ever wondered how a simple RS Aggarwal's Man and Work question would be solved by different persons? Q : If a project work is done by 1 person in 300 days, how many days will it take to complete same for 10 persons.
Ans1 - A logical bookworm : Given the same conditions, no dependancies and with no friction/fatigue involved, no gaps, no holidays and no change in skill levels and same resources and infrastructure- this could be done in exactly 30 days. My verdict: hey you didn't mention a word about the earth's rotatory/revolutionary motion remaining same with no celestial interference. After all that is what control days?? Please sit down.
Ans2 - A sales Head: 30days. Deal is done. Thanks, Proctor !!
My verdict: Aha- 10 lucky guys,, good luck.Weren't you all cribbing about bench/beach period??Herez your chance to prove your mettle. Ans3 - A project Manager: 40 days. We know this is not an ideal world. We shall keep 10 days buffer. My verdict: Unitary method at best and BODMAS rule with a humanitarian touch. Ans4 - A team Lead: 40 days. I am not qualified enough to answer this tough question. I just peeped into manager's notebook. It should be 40.
My verdict: Hmmmm. Ans5 - A Developer: 600 days. There are too many holidays and I fall sick every fortnight.Quality and iterative tests and reworks, Smoke breaks, tea, lunch, chat , forwards, attending Credit card calls and calling girlfriend. My verdict: Sorry to ask you. I understand you are not paid to answer this question. Oh, I did call up my Girl friend coz i slept in cab last day. Life is not so tough. Life is a call away. :) -Alt-tabDay 3: 11 pm I was able to keep the "-4" status quo. This is what govt is doing on LOC as well. No further damage done, basically, no progress made.
I lit up the last cigarette before boarding the cab wondering whether I will get some at my place. Being the lone passenger I could occupy the front seat where my legs can stretch comfortably, still not as much I can do under my desk though. I sometimes hadbeen resposible of unplugging my colleagues' CPU and wasting his allegedly 10 man- hours tasks.. Do you believe it?? :-). They mean to say they havenot saved anything for last 2 days. Not my fault- i was testing their professional habits .
Anyways, I started fiddling with my cell and finding out those unanswered or absurdanswered calls and started making amends. I knew, I was living on the edge. Day 4: 12 am In the cab, I started to find the calls i needed to make , saw the time and procrastinated till weekend. Another sign that you have actually resigned from life. It's all lost. I am calm though. Don't i like Budha's sermon- "More the desires- more the pain."
Day 5: 1 am
Wow, I am still in office. oh, I have a valid reason, reached home at 1 last night. So, came very late. By 1.30am when i boarded cab, I knew I am now "5 man days" behind.
I am in no pain. Day 6: 7 pm I am leaving early. It was Saturday and now I have no girl friend in my life now. Blessing in disguise?? Day 7: 5 pm At last I left at 5 evening. great job. wait its Sunday. I maintained , still 5 days behind. Day 8: 9 am Code is scrapped. Requirements have changed. Asumptions were wrong. Plan has changed . Now I am "0 man day" behind. I am just a boy - So, I say I am "0 boy day" behind. Hey did i return the last week calls? Did i wash my socks? Did i sell the Stocks ? My GF?? Windows L & Restart Err.. Needs a cold reboot!!!! ~ D Labels: Humor, Office Travails |
posted by Dheeraj @ 6:34 PM   |
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| Thank You Jean |
| Sunday, November 4, 2007 |
It was the 4th snooze in
callous cacophany
when i jumped out the bed
in the moment of epiphany
The cruel cell manged to pierce the
cushion of the pillow and wake me up
I exhorted myself- Dee,, plzz getup..plz get up
So i did and finished the morning rituals
cursing my fate
Bathing in chilled water
half asleep and half awake
6.50 my cell read and i cursed
"partying on sundays is a crime..."
Took the oath again to sleep every night @11
for the nth time.
6.55 the over-punctual cab arrives
and I was still deciding -which trouser is well pressed!!
In this periodic dilemma of chosing trousers
My cab gonna miss, i guessed.
Then it flashed- in front of my eyes.
Towards the door I approached
and picked up the jean I wore
--last night
It was as clean as it gets,
As fresh as a fruit tastes.
I thanked Levi Strauss and everyone
I reached the stop-cab was not yet gone!!!
~DheerajLabels: Office Travails, Poems |
| posted by Dheeraj @ 8:46 PM |
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| The Classification #1| Where do you fit in? |
| Tuesday, October 9, 2007 |
The Classification #1
For most peple sans Einstein.. "They see things around and say why?" For me it is "I see things around and say CLASSIFY!!"
I have been self-declared SME when it comes to classification.I picked up this cue when I was classified as the most disturbing element of all the classes I attended , from school to college.My thought process on classification got further boosted when I got into the IT culture. My first experience was a classification on SMC criteria for a set of websites on a migration project. As a matter of fact -I classified most of them as "Simple" as I didn’t have to do the implementation or so I thought.
Well this classification is for our colleagues who inhabit the cab with us during the UC(usual and customary) late shifts.
Type1.Comfortably Numb
Traits: They dig a hole in the seat and make themselves so disintegrable from the cab that it seems the manufacturers actually supplemented the cab with him.You find the moving, click a picture-they have that alternative battery working for them.
Type2.Young and Restless
Traits: Despite all the ploughing they did the whole day , shouldering the chastisement of the superiors, these people out of the college are just too excited to let their limbs down. They will keep telling the stories to their fellow comrades ,story of college deeds ever so prominent.Ahh,,They will take their time to leap into "Type1".
Type3:The Time managers
Traits: These people have a stack of numbers where they need to dial and talk before deboarding the cab.Understandable, given the cramp schedules.Quite admirably, well-wishers also know the stock time when to call.Thats called as maximum utilization of time.
Type4: The Singers
Traits: Appearances getting lesser and lesser.Sometimes seen during pick-up times and last seen on 4-Aug-06 murmuring Kishore Kumar songs during the drops.It wasn’t me.Yes, the extinction is imminent….It leaves little to sing getting back home that late.
Type5:The indefatigables
Traits: Even after spending 15 hrs in the office, the brave soul is not out yet.Keeps on directing / confusing/counter arguing over his cell phone all the while. Wait, it’s a daily thing. You can feel his expertise with the kind of vocabulary and phrase they use.
Gimmi your ears.." The thing is with the given skill set..",,"If the Database was under maintenace,how.." "if you actually filter on the pending status..", "The deployment was actually done but the build.."..
People are left wondering if it is possible to do something in an hour that couldn’t be done for comple 15*7 efforts of 5 stalwarts. Battle continues.
Type6:The Bold and beautiful and the illusive.
Traits: This category never sits next to you.Always next to the "undeserving". The old saga continues where the most beautiful girl were either in senior /junior batch, different deptt, diff college, diff project.Ruthless luck.
Where do you fit in??
DheerajLabels: Office Travails |
| posted by Dheeraj @ 8:34 PM |
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| Monday mourning |
| Sunday, September 30, 2007 |
Well, there has been no spelling mistake in the title even though I did ignore all the spelling corrections that my Rich Text outlook suggested to me.
Monday is the morning I mourn the most, Sunday is the evening i dread the most, Friday is the afternoon when I type in " I am leaving for the day" over communicator and log out with fearsome resolve. I ensure I send the onsite update mails early enough so that they get updated when I have already reached home and dressed myself in my newly bought Barmuda (or 3/4th ?? :( the person who christened that clothing ¾th have to be an engineer, at least a textile engineer ).
FYI, though not required, i have never seen, met, heard anyone pursuing textile engineering. Those who are around.. please stand up. You guys are rare species. Salutations please!!
well this gives me a chance to show you all the brighter side of the things. Lets go through them
Monday:
The most painful day in real senses, you keep on feeling the pinches every now and then.
You have to be drowsy given the love for alcohol that we IT people have and the love that friends shower on the weekends.
The day when men dress themselves the best and females, the worst in comparison to what their respective pattern is for the whole week.
Clean shaven, may be a tie, that white shirt or light solids trying hard to cleanse off the weekend hang over.
Now who look better depends which gender you are :). For me, its always woman.
Tuesday:
Hmm,, hell lot of work, carry-over of last weekend, messed up Monday work, so the attention for clothing is allowed to go down. Doesnt matter, work at hand, need to kill them before they kill your beloved weekend. Probably most productive day at office.
As Floyd sang" There is no pain you are receding". Pain of work and stress of job becomes part of your entity.
Wednesday:
Tuesday has been pretty hectic. if lucky enough to have two mild days at office, Wednesday is for you. Tuesday-Wednesday are like "Nakul-Sahdev of Mahabharata"- difficult to trace and differentiate even in a TV serial. They are just there for the company to get some worth back from you for what they seem to pay aimlessly.
Thursday:
Energy levels high, commitment level low, dressings got better than couple of days.(A change of clothes is welcome, Hary….. you wore same pair of shirt-pants and may be.. holy s***)
Smell of ensuing weekend is getting over, work is done because you are positive and high heeled.
Friday:
Is there a festival? Is this a professional client services company? Dress code.. is it something like pin-code only t be used by postal services?
3 o clock.. half office cleaned up.
There are no 2-way commincations. viz
Person1:"I am leaving"
Person2:" Hey u there??"
Computer1 communicator: Status message "Away".
Computer1 cribbing: "Please shut me down. Let it be weekend for us as well. Don’t leave me on please,,..... go went gone.. Sob Sob
………. 5 minutes later….
Computer2 communicator: Status message "Away".
Night Activities : Pubbing??, gossiping??,boozing?? sleeping??..list is on..
Saturday:
Saturday is the night over which my comments will be sacrilege to Whigfield. But I will, sorry for that.
The day pretty much goes on personal choices or may be compulsions for married people.
Sitting in TV room and acid-testing TV remote is popular, sleeping till noon is not so rare, shopping is fine, visiting friends who complained last Monday of your ignorance is one noble act, movies are always a popular choice.
Saturday-Friday are like “Arjun-Bhim of Mahabharatha”- suffice to do it all.
Sunday:
Fear, apprehension, mellowed mood, poignant behavior, minimum response( My close friend goes a step ahead and responds by writing a phrase and disapproves use of tongue and mouth).
People try to sleep very early but fail to do everytime. Sad but true, cruelest day.
Gyana of the post:
Picture is not rosy but think. while people celebrate hardly 30 festive days a year, we get 2 festive days every week.So, keep rocking.
and start Monday mourning thinking that it augurs another two festive days. :)
~fighting hard Dheeraj
Labels: Humor, Office Travails |
| posted by Dheeraj @ 9:47 PM |
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| Story of Unwanted Mails |
| Wednesday, April 4, 2007 |
We get dozens of mail everyday. Some crap, some interesting, and some amazing….I want to talk about the unwanted mails….
1) The first kind of unwanted mails comprises of mails that are originated by someone you just know, least interested in their matter of affairs, still they keep sending you forwards that are repetitive, unnecessarily emotional, at best new and nice. But you would have preferred it by someone else.
Girls Be Careful, the guy is interested. Boy’s don’t reply to your benchers friend. Don’t feed them. However ,no guarantees that the friend will forgive your mailbox.
2) Sometimes,we are too generous in replying to all….we see someone special in that cc part. Sometimes,you don’t care who is the special one but simply wont mind one..
3) Pl’s are the most suffered specie . No matter, if the subject really concern them or not..They are unceremoniously dropped to their mailboxes.
4) Ditched boy/girlfriend….. You are very happy to finally snap the relation that was started to be burden on you. You changed your number,your city..Mailbox still exists.No matter how much you try to ignore, you still go through it once.
5) Mistakes done earlier..When we first opened our e-mail accounts.We used to excitedly tick all the options for interest. Or join a group in search of something,, Group’s love start showering on you.
6) Official group mails..Not entirely unwanted..But there are times wen two gr8start sharing their knowledge prowess jargoned wth business vocabulary,or some self-appointed teachers /newsletters/announcement that bother u least/seminars / and hell lot of them…
~DheerajLabels: Office Travails |
| posted by Dheeraj @ 12:50 AM |
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| Infy-Silver Jubilee Gift |
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Weekend Gujara, Gift na aaye,
aaye re aayee ab 3 july ,
Shandar hue 25 saal…
silver Jubilee Infy ne manayee,
Kisi ko laptop to kisi ko ipod ki khwahish…
Aur kya khub mila hai surprise,,,,
Mail na aaye, na aaye badhai,,
aakho me asoo le aye, Badi ruswayee. Badi ruswayee..
Sari raat is khwab me bitayee..
Sapne me laptop ke sang photo bhi khichai, ?
Mer CTS wale dost ko kya muh dikhau,,
Dil ke armmaa kaise chupau..
Kya khud kharid ke ipod ghar chala jao..
Ya, uske taane sunne ke pahle chadar taan ke so jau??
maine kal naya chadar bichaya,,
Bagal ke khali jagah dekh kar yu muskaraya----
Mera laptop mere sath rehega
Yaha par mai,,bagal me laptop kaisa lagega? ?
Wo jagah kitni suni lagegi,,
Meri raatei kaise kantegi!!
Meri or se le lo badhai..
Dukhi na ho dosto, jao canteen…
Aur , kha lo mithai..
~DheerLabels: Office Travails, Poems |
| posted by Dheeraj @ 12:44 AM |
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| Life is overrunning |
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Leaving the same old gate with routine check up
Reaching home only to make sure I have a sleep,
Waiting for alarm again to wake me up
It seems I am not crossing timesheet
But time skidding under my feet
When I hear the music that bring memories of past,
When I see same old lisp in school goers clad in white, blue, red--
I feel it had been ages past
Images blurred, memories cobwebbed
Life hadn’t got wings
My heart no more sings
Wings have been snapped off, bird being caged
Wondering where the wonders are, life once staged!
Life is not passing by, it is over running
Two days when there is something heart can demand
But mind reprimands…
Catch a sleep, wake up -- sip some wine
I ask why?
My heart doesn’t shy..
Says it all—
I want to live in oblivion..
Lost in labyrinths—
Fear to live on own terms,
driven by mundane pursuits
Happy falsehood, Dreadful truths!!
~DheerLabels: Office Travails, Poems |
| posted by Dheeraj @ 12:31 AM |
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| I knew they are related to IT |
| Monday, March 26, 2007 |
Last Time I saw people,
Specifically remembering to keep chargers in their kit
I knew they relate to IT
Last time I saw people,
Consuming fag before they were lit
I knew they relate to IT
Last time I saw Mobile Bills soaring exponentially
I knew they relate to IT
As if wanted to sanctify their sins
I saw people taking up social activities vocationally
I knew they are related to IT
Last time I saw people using jargons everywhere without fuss
I knew they are related to IT
Last time I saw people optimizing their time
Be it reading in bathroom or in Bus
I knew they are related to IT
Last Time I saw people joining an organization
With a motive to quit at earliest
I knew they are related to IT
Last time I saw people shouting,
getting nostalgic About College days being the best
I knew they are related to IT
Last time I saw Bellies grow
Last time I saw people drinking more OH than H2O
I knew they are related to IT
Last time I saw people go blind over Brand Tags,beer can!!
Last time I saw man more in love with sleep than woman
I knew they are related to IT
~DheerajLabels: Office Travails |
| posted by Dheeraj @ 2:19 AM |
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