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| It happened one Monday! |
| Tuesday, April 16, 2013 |
Chapter 3: Theory of interjections
I walked down the aisle towards the elevator for my morning (really? i got some guts )coffee.
"Hawo yeah doin ?" like a thorough gentleman he asked with this genuine broad smile
on his face and with this pair of clear fluid eyes caressing me as if i had an
obligation to say I must be doing exotically good, like in the world would i mind this luxury.
While
i justified the smile as a polite office-decorum and a token of hope and well
beingnessof a fellow human - i presume he should have had courtesy to listen to my response. As it turned out to be, a pointless enquiry.
You
can't just ask a question and run away.. For heavens, i don't know where do you seat
and i definitely don't think it's a sign of mental liquidity on my part to take effort to find time on your calender and then apprise you of the situation i am in and explain how the heck yammaidoin!
i guess i had lost it by then and the poor guy just fell victim of my outburst.
I literally stopped him and explained to him-
"No, i am not
doing good. i have a sore throat, an incredibly stuffed nose and there is a lot of stuffing that can rest there(just look at the holding capacity of my nose, you will believe it), crumbling finances, insecure
foreseeable future and more , i can explain only when i am inebriated."
"So, Do you have a follow up question, time and patience to process my answers ?" i was at my unscrupulous best.
Caught by surprise and a situation he never experienced before , he suggested he was sorry and turned away in a haste. He pretended as if he didn't quite hear the whole thing and hence not responding as dramatically as he should had.
Like a man with respect , courtesy and integrity i would then return the kindness back and ask...
"By the way thanks for asking, how you doing"
"Good, Good,,,,very good thank you!! he ran with a sigh of relief out of the lift that opened for him like a stairway to heaven, just in time.
I continued my brisk walk to the coffee shop witnessing another two persons crossing each other,
both asking how were they doing to each other, asking the question in turn
and not caring to hear or expect an answer.
And then i realized, better, formulated my little "theory of interjection.." (c)
I think paradigm of "how you doing" greetings is a direct proponent of relative velocity(speed & direction, in case you forgot the high school kinematics) of the two persons getting engaged in that conversation.
How??
- Slow speed + Same direction : Interjections eventually transmute into long hangout knowhows starting from how-are-yous and culminating into we-should-catch-up-sometimes.
(Now depending upon the sexes of involved person, the catch up could mean coffee on a subsequent weekday or weekend beer at the local bar.)
- High
speed + Same direction : Interjections would mostly comprise of alternate sinusoidal Q&A scheme "Question-Answer&Question&Answer.." until they are at a distance when it's realistically uncivilized to continue conversation and then the involved persons believe it's befitting and not-belligerent to end the conversation abruptly.
When two persons are running against each others directions, it becomes a little more interesting...
- Slow Speed + Opposite direction : This arguably is the most precise form of interjections, where each person rallies with one set of Q&A inquiry. Of course, assumption is both of them want to talk and are not hiding their faces like a snob like me, i am today.
- High Speed + Opposite direction: Engaged individuals are courteous enough to ask the question but don't really care for the answer. Next time you encounter this, don't embarrass yourself and just throw back the question. Never mind answering.
- Very High Speed + Opposite direction: Shortest and possibly phoniest form of interjection. Question would come from either one of the participating individuals and there will be absolutely no answers-- expectation or delivery wise.
- Extreme High Speed + Opposite direction : People involved in this kind, essentially act like this other 6 fit,200 pounds of human unit never existed , atleast not in their recent encounters.Total ignorance!
I ordered my doubleshot Americano and headed back my desk for the struggle of the day.
Labels: Funny Sides of Events, Humor |
posted by Dheeraj @ 11:34 PM   |
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| 5 Comments: |
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This one is incredible...how often I have wondered about the relevance of "How you doing?" and the uselessness of the answer and total randomness of people asking this as a greeting!
I had my version of "Hawo yeah doin?" - it goes..."Hawa aa rehi hai tujhey?!" (with an accent and spoken fast!) - meaning..."How are ya today?!". Loved your theory of interjection...ROFL!
Good luck with your daily dose of "Tall Americans" (he he) at the coffee shop! Cheers :)
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Awsm creativity :)
"lift that opened for him like a stairway to heaven" is just wow.
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This one is incredible...how often I have wondered about the relevance of "How you doing?" and the uselessness of the answer and total randomness of people asking this as a greeting!
I had my version of "Hawo yeah doin?" - it goes..."Hawa aa rehi hai tujhey?!" (with an accent and spoken fast!) - meaning..."How are ya today?!". Loved your theory of interjection...ROFL!
Good luck with your daily dose of "Tall Americans" (he he) at the coffee shop! Cheers :)