|
|
| Subscribe & Rate Me |
|
|
| Blog Catalog |
|
|
| Subscribe the feed |
|
|
| Visitors |
|
|
|
| It happened one Monday! |
| Tuesday, March 26, 2013 |
Chapter 2: My Other Side of the World
I reached my cube in a fizzy and started my obligations at office with the stealth of a spy. I positioned the laptop in its predefined coordinates, not that i measure it but a clearly delineated, neat and dirt-free rectangular plot on the desk defines the ambit of it's existence and it's restrictive movement by an abstract halter. I must state that the state of the rest of the desk is not socially unacceptable for a sizable group of office-goers. Though, i would agree that my desk desperately needs a women's touch.
I believe it is that mesh of the wires that demotivates me or for the fact of the matter, anyone to lift them delicately and dexterously and clean the area hidden innocuously under them, and place them back. All just too treacherous for an immobile piece of space that means no harm to anyone- it was indeed a high-risk, low-gain game. I played safe and played no such game.
These wires now exhibit all sects, attributes and nature- fat, thin, curvy, athletic-built, married, single, divorced, looking, straight and gays. "Single and looking" is the funniest one. Looking at it, it appears ultra attentive, high on heels and ready to hop on to anyone at slightest of an opportunity. I remember when i first walked into this office space years back and i saw the myriad of colors coming out that socket from under the desk, aesthetically intertwined and hidden from the cruel civilization behind the board. But one fine day, came an engineer, worked like an engineer and left corpses behind him, much like an engineer. Not to take away any credits from him, he fixed the network connectivity but the glory remained uncovered, ever since then, long after he was gone.... The solitary screw that hinged itself to the board fought gallantly but inconsequentially. It was awarded a luxurious stay at a vantage point on my desk for a long time in a romanticized hope of reunion before been binned posthumously.
And now 3 years after, those colorful wires: whites, yellows, blacks, blues, greens more or less look the same.
Some whites had turned into yellow(read pale), some turned into black, the blues turned into greasy blacks, yellow ones appear pregnant for the last 9 months with no yield while the green ones look like a worm fresh cut, permeating possibly 4th form of matter and enticing 6th sense of smell.
I have manged to look away from them by a stack of wasted printouts, a useless desktop monitor and a big old desk phone. Somewhere in a nook of my heart, i know there is dirt and part of it hopes it just goes away one day.
But knowing i will be moving away from here soon, i managed keep the desk occupiable, kept my sleeves clean and continued killing a few red ants once in a while, that managed a long walk to my laptop through those sockets and wires. I will admit to sharing a partial responsibility. It could be that apple pie i left on the keyboard that was crushed on the board by mistake. Since then the motherboard had not been only housing the circuits and chips but these red Lilliputians too.
On that Monday morning, as i opened up the laptop- i located a red ant emerging through the crevice between keys F5 and F6. As if it knew i was shooting for a kill, it quickly retracted inside. I managed to kill it but in the process, ruptured the F5 key in a rush of undeniable, intense desire to retrieve the corpse out of its burial ground. Like there was no end to the miseries, another one came gasping out from the big gaping pit created by the absence of the pointing stick at the confluence of keys G H and B.Who on earth uses that small rubber button stuck in there anyways? I wondered..
It feels funny to touch it though. And i guess, i overplayed with it before losing it forever. It was another easy kill but again.. not a great start to the morning.
I cleaned up, strictly the 'area of absolute business' and strategically kept the gym bag on the desk at an angle to hide any possible line of sight of this "other side of the world" and let it be a preposterous display of my non conformism.
Before i could take a breather, multitudes of emails popped out over the same 'burning" issue from 7 different people demanding an "ASAP" response from the same person. No prizes for guessing who that same person would be- me! And then came meeting requests, conference call requests, status update requests, 'swing by my desk' requests. I had no choice but to head for the strongest coffee ever.
Labels: Funny Sides of Events, Humor |
posted by Dheeraj @ 11:39 PM   |
|
|
|
| It happened one Monday! |
| Wednesday, March 20, 2013 |
Chapter 1 : Theory of Busyness
Like most of the Monday mornings, i was late to the office. It was close to half past 10 in the morning. Naturally but not proudly, i wasn't very keen to be seen with my phony laptop bag and monumentally vacillating and frequently colliding multi-purpose bag which was housing lot of utility stuff that ideally shouldn't be cohabiting in close proximity. Sneakers and lunch, water bottle and socks, underwear and hair cream, deodorant and headphones are just to name a few.
They really should innovate a new breed of men's bag that compartmentalizes these stuff. While they do exist in their independent capabilities and usage, it will be condescending to the office/work salubrity to bring in a work-out bag, a-lunch bag, a men's fashion bag for other utilities , not to forget the quintessential coffee mug. Questions will raise heads and rightfully so- Are you like sure, you're here for work? Those bags had to be designed carefully on utilitarian grounds.
As organized as they claim, a girl's bag is a jungle of beautiful mess (surprisingly it can't accommodate a sleek pen though) with unthoughtful compartmentalization and security. They leave the sides wide upon. What good are those zippers if she topples or errrr the bag topples (it never does, in able consciousness of a women) . Men's bag shouldn't be modeled after it, at all. Men need zippers that covers end to end perimeter, and a thoughtful mix of tiny,small, big compartments to house things separately.
As i parked my car in the office garage, the mind prudently calculated the shortest and safest path to tread before i reach to my office and pretend i have been there since 8 AM.
Finding the vantage path to your cube is a direct function of time of entry/ existing weather condition / day of the week among other variables. Based on my in-memory algorithm, the mind directed the limbs to take the staircases minimizing chances to be encountered with men returning from coffee break and Monday Marathon Meetings on "lost and found over the weekend" science. Encountering men is rarely rewarding , more so at that hour of intractable breach.
While this is irrelevant to the matter but in accordance to my musing , i will state it anyway. On the hind sight, encountering women on the staircases have never been a problem. It's rather a privilege for multiple reasons primarily because of the added advantage of time to converse which is invariably lost in fast moving elevators. Others benefits are too frivolous and silly to be "sighted".
Much to my dismay, the first flight of stairs and i had my executive running down the stairs. Darn, I did miss to factor in his growing awareness to ergonomics and resolution to loose weight. I noticed him coming and i impetuously used my ever-so-naive theory of busyness.
Next second, I was conversing with a ghost on the phone about the latest integration issue that was discovered. The conversation content, language and subject chosen for the circumstances vary with the kind of person to be dealt with. A person who has knowledge, authority, influence is put on the top my Jacob's ladder. In these cases, I prefer interjecting with"Sures", "ahaa- ahaas", and "rights" while folks at the lower end of the ladder hear a lot of gibberish "So the lowest denominator of the performance of the mission critical Job is defined by the fastest running component which needs to be actively monitored via the common auditing/reporting framework through a bottom-up methodology"
A nod and he passed by while i was trapped in compulsion of continuing my intense conversation for another 10 meters before i promised the ghost to to expect a call back from my desk.
Not a great start to the week, given I didn't have great weekend to compensate for a not-so-productive preceding week.
I couldn't go out to my favorite bar due to bad throat, couldn't download David Bowie's latest album, managed
innovative ways to lose money, couldn't reset my living room clock to
adjust to the day light saving as promised to my wife and some not-so-important issues.
Reeling over from Sunday night insomnia caused by a "clear and
present" danger in face of Monday, i was obviously not in best of the moods.
TBC..... with some more theoriesLabels: Funny Sides of Events, Humor |
| posted by Dheeraj @ 12:30 AM |
|
|
|
|
|
