Have a break

Raj scrutinized the wood in his hand under the flickering light- a light just holding itself on the support of the overloaded battery.
There were no marks.
"Might have been burnt in the winter", he thought.
"Things are created and they are perished. This never even changed its form. The love had remained the same from the day I recognized its resident and still is a part of my own entity. "
Philosophy collided with the truth.
He used to wait for his father to come in the evenings. Strolling patiently on the balcony, he used to gesture him to keep the bike outside the fence.
"I would park it in the garage, Dad"
"Okay, I m keeping the helmet here, come"
"Helmet! No, bring that up. I will be just around. And no problems, I can dodge the cops anyways." Giggle.
Raj drove the bike to the "silky route"- a nickname he and Abhi had given to the street. It was a routine. He never missed a chance to try his luck out.
Even if he was asked to bring some grocery item which was no more than 50 meters- he would take that extra distance to reach her house, just in case. .
Sometimes, he took his beloved younger brother, 5, with him on bike and talked with him what he couldn’t to anyone else. His brother shouted "Silky route!!! Silky route!! Silky route!!" and pointed his fingers to her home whenever he passed the street.
The looking around went for months, 8 months. He still couldn’t find a time where he would be assured to see her. Her picture in the mind was still hazy.
He overheard his friend saying her being already engaged with someone.
He disapproved it with a silent fear but the love had started asking for acknowledgement.
That fine day, he decided to talk to her.
He rehearsed in his bathroom and in the mom’s room when she was not around. He had been taught to practice in front of drawing mirror during his school.
She would cross that turn; usually that’s where her friends bid bye. "I will follow not for too long, would seem rude and ungentlemanly. Then from two meters behind, moving two paces away from mirror, ok- from here, I would say "Hi!" with a pretentious smile , a little raise of hands.
Then, she would turn around, I will up reach upto her and say
"Hi, I am Raj.. I don’t know if you have noticed me, I have been seeing you around for sometime and wanted to say that I actually want to be friends with you."
He had zeroed in for a few key decisions earlier- "friends formula", "On-foot soldier", "green shirt & jean" "don’t give her chance to interrupt" and "mug-vomit-run".
Raj drenched his hairs with as much water as he could to keep them in place and look fresh, wore his special green shirt (worn once, dry-cleaned thrice in 16 months to save its royal status as a party dress) and the jean which actually had to be tied down from falling apart by the belt which bore a fake lacoste brand.
He reached there 30 minutes earlier than the school’s final ring.
By the due time, he realized his hairs were dry by now and every strand was trying to play diaspora, running out at different angles.
He saw brown and white uniform clad girls coming down. Krishna Niketan was manufacturing gems it seemed. He could see guys flocking together, bird-watching , running their bikes behind buses and rickshaws. He waited for "his blue diamond" to sparkle out of the unimportant crowd of gems.
His heart was sagging and was on verge of breaking down with every passing moment.
"She wouldn’t have come" he concluded, its an hour and half past the breaking time. He convinced himself to return back home.
As he turned around to head back, he felt a lump in his mouth; he could sense the hollowness under the ribs, the lifeless and voluntary trembling in his thin legs.
In a matter of couple of seconds, his ears were ready to catch fire. She was right there coming from the opposite direction hardly ten paces away.
It took an era of five-seconds to jolt himself back to sensibilities.
"Yes", revise,, "hi".. Then name, ok...
Then what…shoot…okay … sweet lord, what was that.. Ok, "I like you"… no! It was something better.. "I love you?"... Damn me!
She crossed passed him.
"Think ... Think"... or rather see her once … "man… follow!!!... "Oh my buttons"... What was that?
How could I forgot, I heard she took tuitions after classes. This was the time and this was the direction.
"Forget that, act now, Set the priority, go…….." Someone from within exhorted him.
Eventually, Raj followed her and reached his stipulated "two meters" from his love moving farther away.
With the deepest breath he ever took, as he tried to open up his throat, he felt a reverse gush of air tormenting him, a thick smoke garroting him, a nerve from his stomach pulling his throat down.
"Hi…" as feeble as a sound qualified to be called as a whisper. He wondered whether he said or just rehearsed again in mind.
Lost in his own thought, he looked up to measure the distance and if he could make it.
He saw a guy talking to her a few yards away from her house. She didn’t look anguished, neither perturbed nor disinterested.
That was enough to deflate his dented confidence. Reducing the length of his steps, heads down- he remembered his friends talking about her seeing some guy.
He turned back to head home. Walking back he constantly looked at his shoes without purpose.
At times, he could see flashes of her face in front of his eyes obstructing the view of his shoes. He kept walking – crossing the 90-fit road, what they call it. He stopped. He had reached the well.
He bowed down to peep inside to see an old timber basket floating on the water, slowly sinking down. He kept looking at it till it sank and was no longer visible.
He didn’t shout that day, just added a few drops of water to the well.
To be Contd...
By
Dheeraj