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The tag of the Stag- Royal Stag
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Me and my roomie were usual unattainable stags , friends of us were even better (read bitter) stags. The biggest problem we mulled over was how to initiate the talk.
Well, he always blamed me and insinuated that I being one of the rankers and in one of the most blessed Department of college , ie CSE, should have cracked it.
I, on the other hand, shamelessly in defense, blamed him for being such a hunky and the outlaw biker, sorry ladder, and yet a stag. It’s coincidence that he loves Royal stag.

It took a discovery of a white stray in his stubble that made him take solemn oath to break the jinx that fateful evening.
Here’s his attempt.
Target location: No winners for guessing right! Yes, CSE dept.
Our guy approached this girl and asked a straight question non-chalantly "What's your name"?
A pause in steps and a scorned look..
Our guy wondered, if he asked what he rehearsed or the passcode of her bank accounts.
She didn't respond and walked away. Brave soul followed with steely determination in his heart and interrupted again.
“Why”? she asked..
A question is not to be questioned.. Well, as if this is a screening test to test suitability of the person seeking enquiry.He thought and quickly gave up, saying “Why??? ..As in simply...I mean... just asking.”
“What’s your business?” Another level of authentication.
I ain't no businessman, a sheer mediocre BE student craving for love. He rejected crude thought. Then he thought.
May be I can say this. “Oh, I have got a female baby in my paternal uncle's house and they were wondering which name is "In". Your face tells me your name must be in.”
He started weighing his options in darkness of his own mind while she gradually faded away in the far dimness of the aisle.

That night poor guy asked me.. What's the answer for this "WHY"?
I said with an air of confidence. “See, dude, no girl is so easily going to tell her name in this village just like that. Just say " You wanna friendship".”
“No ya, she must have a guy” . he sounded despondent.
"Hell no, tell me if all the girls are engaged, why most guys are single. See, Rajesh,Shashank,Amit, Manav, Shiva,Guru, all, even Rahul,and even me.. huh” It’s just their attitude.
Ahh, There is a theory about "Rahul" as well, weird one. Highlights below---
* All sweet guys are Rahuls. I swear It's Yash chopra/Johars effect.
* All shashanks/Shekars/Sidharthas are mostly fair and lean.
*All Mukeshs are uncle-types.
* All Sandeep's are little fat.
* All Shweta's are little flirt and gets fat as day passes.
* Amits/Manishs/Poojas are usually so widespread that characterizations or pattern matching is quite difficult.
* All Rishis are quite womanizers.
* All Shobhas are overtly showoffs with little substance to back it.
*All Priyas are quite beautiful and sultry..
* All Malti's, Latas are fatsos..
* Manojs are wheatish and sport moustache
Well, no offence,, just whiteboarding what we did..

Back to the discussion again.I stray a lot.
"Oh Okie." He butted out the cigarette butt on the astray lying on his chest and put it down slowly under the bed.
Next morning, he caught her while she was starting her scooty after the Microprocessor lab.
Usually you get hot headed after that.He should have consulted me.

"I am Kamlesh, Mechanical, final year"-putting special emphasis on Mechanical and final year” As if she will pity hearing this and bestow some mercy.
Engine shrieked but din’t start. “Yours?” Stooping and anticipating some movement of the lips hidden behind the generously shampooed hairs.
“Oh.. I want to be friends with you.” I said loudly thinking, she still would be expecting the reasoning of the 24-hrs old question.
She straightened up and said" Why?"
“Oh .. don’t you know.. I am such a dog.” I read his mind.
“Why mean what? I mean simply.. I like you..” This is what he actually said.
“Sorry I’m not interested..” This is what she ultimately said.
“I just asked your name, damn it.. what’s the deal with interest here..” :-(
Engine started .
She went and he did what he does best. Smoked!.
That night again, he challenged me .. Our challenges were of the finest & rarest quality.
“Can you show me?” he asked
“Dude, this is nasty, non-sense.” I snapped.
“Oh , I meant can you show me that you 'can' talk to girls?”
“Oh K'mon, grow up. What's there in..” I said with a pretentious ease..
Anyways, i had said No to “No” long back and accepted.

Hence, the brainstorming.
I remembered, Manish- he is quite involved with them. What does he do?
Yippy, Notes.
But, i never take notes, I don’t understand other's handwriting, no matter how filthy and illegible I write.
Plus, won’t she know that I have 54 guys in hostel from whom I can ask. This will be so embarrassing and too obvious..
What else..?? okie,, I shall ask what happened yesterday with Shilpa, why was she upset- who the hell I am to worry? I have never worried, worse, i din’t come college yesterday. Then, why haven’t I worried for all these passed years.
No, poor idea. Okay, The farewell party. I shall ask where to organize and what’s new this time around?
Oh,, I never did those,, Do i have to lie just to talk.. forget.!!
I decided and shouted to my roomie standing near the far end
“BOND.. Come on in, i lose.. I sponser your Kachauri and cigarettes and the Maaza."
-D

Labels: , , ,

posted by Dheeraj @ 9:59 AM  
7 Comments:
  • At May 15, 2008 at 9:16 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Good one boos but one regret not included my name :) gautam

     
  • At May 18, 2008 at 8:53 PM, Blogger Rishabh Makrand said…

    A common story of mech engineers...who waits/stands in front of other dept's lab(after finishing his sweaty labs) just to have a glimpse of the female with whom he wants to have a friendship/girl friend/ any other kind of relations...lols...

    But this is not fair "love guru"..you didnt gave answer of this "why"?

     
  • At May 19, 2008 at 8:42 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    sahiii jawaaab....maza aa gaya padh ke

     
  • At May 20, 2008 at 12:43 AM, Blogger Hemant said…

    HIT on Box-Office!
    action/drama/romance/tragedy/comedy.. sab kuch hai!

    A story that materializes in every nook & corner of India.

    A small town guy, bewildered by the various bollywood effects, strives to be an OB.. ends up becoming an AFC!

    Am sure.. you'll update the guy's status as "Happily Married" soon as that's where this kinda story usually ends!
    [IT HAPPENS ONLY IN INDIA :)]

     
  • At May 20, 2008 at 9:43 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    @Anonymous Man-Gautam
    Your name gonna appear soon,, Make sure yu dont take that offensively. I usually dig..
    @Risabh
    Aap to khud gyataa ho, mahapurush ho, Is tuchcha prashan ka utttar dena chahiye the aapko kadachit..
    @Anonymous- Guess U r nt
    Thanks,, I know guys like to hear their old stories..
    @Ham,
    Ha ha Ha Ladder theory. Jai ho!!
    I agree wid u! Do i have a choice??

     
  • At June 5, 2008 at 5:31 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    hey..we invented the naming conventions...n no me !!!

     
  • At June 5, 2008 at 5:44 AM, Blogger Dheeraj said…

    Abhishek --Too much of prevelant name..!
    And any ways, yes, Kals is one of the contributors of the weird naming conventions.
    He was good at Organic chemistry too

     
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Name: Dheeraj
Home: Dallas, TX, United States
About Me: Working in some IT domain doing something that no stakeholders know why,what or till what? Megalomanic,over-acheiver,overtly exaggerating and conceiving most unrealististic qualities about my looks , Add to it ,my poor grammar.Summarized easily as AVOIDABLE acquaintance.That's me. Disclaimer:The contents of my blogs are meant for a good read, healthy humor and sporadically realistic yet fabricated anecdotes.Please don't get offended when no-one is actually offending you. Should you have something to share or suggest - don't be a silent traveller- Profile and comment section are for a reason... drop in a mail @ dheeraj.kishore@gmail.com or add me.I always revert back!!
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