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| It was She, Part 2 |
| Tuesday, July 22, 2008 |
The Things As they were
Raj came out of the reverie as the fag burnt his lips.
He stood up and paced sluggishly towards the log of woods in the corner, left over by the construction, soaked and charred under the open sky.
As he picked up a particular piece of wood, he sensed a black-out. It was the old custom still strong and on, "standard 1-hour power outage" time.
How he waited for power outage then! It shielded him from his dad's admonition and provided an excuse to go to the roof.
Being on the roof, looking at the sky, watching a famous TV soap- everything gave him a special kick.
"Even she would be doing the same thing at this moment. We have something in common at least." An eternal metaphysical communion.
He was given a secluded outhouse to study. It was tough for him.
"How can I study, if no one is noticing if I am?" He admitted his own helplessness naively.
At times, conceding defeat to the echoes of his own conscience, he did manage to study, never more than 15-min stretch.
However, the story never surpassed from arranging a notebook, a thick Guide to Chemistry, a Reynolds pen, placing them adjacent on the table under the study lamp and
imprinting the "Atomic Structure" with an attractive font style and solving the same set of top 5 objective questions at the most.
He had just excised from the sports section of the newspaper supplement, a picture of a girl cheering Goran Ivanisevic.
He believed or rather forced himself to believe that she was a look-alike. It "was" and "is" mandatory to have your girl’s picture.
He had put that cutting into the new diary he got from the Dad's Insurance agent.
He flipped the pages to see and imagined the modifications that she would require to be exactly like her.
Hairs a tad blacker, face contours a little more seamless, lips a little fuller.
He closed the diary, slid under the pillow as he waited for mom's call for food. He used to go to the roof for a talk with himself just after the supper.
He unconsciously compared everything he would find beautiful, to her, trying to find an alternative to the tempting torture of seeing her in entirety.
A percentage of her beauty was attainable and gave him space to breathe otherwise she was ruthless and would just choke him every time he had a glimpse.
When he tried to sketch her picture, he always realized he could actually never see her properly. An outline of the oval shape, her hairs, dazed brown eyes, fair complexion- may be.
Nothing more than that. The second time he actually saw her, he was dumbstruck. He had not gone to play volleyball. On the pretext of seeing her sister, he walked a couple of miles towards a well in the solitary fields
He had looked into the dark water of the well and shouted twice full throttle. It was the first time he went there and did that. He never knew why.
He started to like doing this but saved the act for special moments. He was always scared of over-using anything and cherished the way they were.
"Would I make it less important, would I take the charm out, would the beauty be degraded?"
Here expressionless now, Raj moved towards the light emanating from the neighbor's room with an air of anticipation. The tube light had just switched on, powered by the battery backup.
He felt the wood in his hand and remembered a similar wood log then.
He would write her name on the paper and tear them to miniature pieces so that no two letters are in once piece. He would do random check, picking up a paper and finding the half "R" and the full "a".
He did that for some time till he found this piece of soggy wood. He took the nail and inscribed her name, and as he always did- made it illegible by writing a "S" "Q" and a cursive "D" over it
"It should be the ideal way. You stay and live in this world of mortals but only I should be able to read you, find you, see you." He prayed sullenly.
-DLabels: Let's Talk Love, Turn The pages |
posted by Dheeraj @ 3:49 PM   |
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